A little bit of...

Two words to untie chaos, hyperactivity and anxiety

It’s been a long time since I wrote something in here…
A lot of things have happened since. I wasn’t able to get into this blog, technical difficulties that were delayed because I don’t have a personal computer since last December (long story which I would like to write about in order to avoid you issues with Lenovo in future).
And well, right now, not being able to sleep, I’m thinking in how to retake this blog and get inspired again to write something, mainly because this is a way to get rid of stress, anxiety and desperation, which are feelings I get when my mind is not busy or focused into something.
When I created this blog, my purpose was to use it as a way of expressing myself, a way of getting creative and specially to give vent to my mind and avoid what I’m feeling right now, anxiety.
Anxiety is a ghost that appears to my side every time I have spare time and it blocks my mind in a negative way. In its worst scenario, it makes me to bite my nails, it prevents me to figure out what to do and when I think into something it just doesn’t look attractive to me. When in anxiety, not any book is interesting, not any music is fun or relaxing and not any place is good to go. The only thing that seems to be fun at the moment is eating (thank god I’m thin) but you know, this is not a way to fight anxiety, on the contrary, it’s just the proof I’m in anxiety. So, unless I’m really tired and I just want to lay down on the sofa and read or watch youtube videos, I might get very anxious. Energy and spare time is not a good combination on me, because when that mix happens, not any activity is good enough to satisfy me and I get really desperate.
I think this summarizes into two words, one that happens because of the other one, ‘hyperactivity’, that’s what I have, and when I’m not able to satisfy my hyperactivity it becomes in ‘anxiety’, in a way so hard,  that sometimes it just makes me cry and become desperate to not being able to fight it in a mature way.
So, yes, here am I again writing in this blog, fighting the feeling, one more time.

Leave a Reply